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The Beauty We Become

And she keeps on dreaming...

New Year
I have decided to start keeping this journal again.  It has been over two years since I left it, and I have missed it.  Soooo here I am world! LOVE MEH! 
To start out I am going to make a list of things to accomplish before the years ends. 

 1:  Improve my physical self in order feel better for ME.  No one else.
 2: Laugh more and Yell less.  In other words get the anger monkey off my back.
 3.  At least try that damn novel I have always wanted to write.
 4.  Start writing my poetry again. 
 5.  Love Ben with all my heart.



(no subject)
Title: Vindicated
Author: Muggleish
Rating: T
Character(s): Song
Theme: If Only…
Author's Notes: First in a four part series.  This one has mature themes.  Just letting the youngins know.  
                                                                          “If only, if only," the woodpecker sighs…”-
                                                                                                Louis Sachar

The road was long, windy, and rocky.  Song had often suggested to her older patience not to walk such a long path, but knew very well it was the only safe way back to their village.  She had spent her morning gathering supplies from the forest, and was now making her way down the very same one.  The summer was drawing to a close, and the troops had been coming in mass droves.  There is always work to be done.

She smiled a warily as the village came into site just ahead.  It would be nice to take a little rest.  Her head turned to right when a noise caught her attention-a groan that came from the nearby clearing. She worked quickly and instinctively.   Her feet followed as her ears lead the way, but she froze just at the edge.

Her eyes widen and full took in the sight before her.  Two beautiful nude bodies moved together in a dance that she didn’t understand.  Emotion poured out of them that hit her and sent a shiver down her spine.  Another feeling too… Regret crept into her belly and made her sick.  

“If only”, she thought…  But there is always work to be done.


There is a knock at the door.
She opens it and stares.
The man is dressed up real nice.
He hands her a letter and says words.

She stares again.
The words he says don’t make since.
They slur and stutter.
She closes the door.

A baby cries out.
She turns and walks to the nursery.
Her eyes take in a beautiful sight.
A blue-eyed baby girl, that looks just like him.

Those same eyes take no joy.
Instead, they are cold and empty of feeling.
The little girl cries out again for Mama.
Tear drops fall and splatter on the blue crib sheets.

Hands once so warm, reach out in cold lifelessness.
They reach for a pretty lace pillow made by Grandmother.
Softly, they lay it over that face of innocence.
The cries for Mama cease.

(no subject)
It was an adjustment for me when I first moved here. The houses are so close together that it is a little awkward at times. Being for the country our Neighbors either live up the road or the ones that happen to live next door -we knew well. In fact, two of those neighbors for most of my childhood were my Great Grandparents and my adopted Granny. :) However, Here I know very little about my Neighbors, and I am a very ummm... Curious person so I often wonder about them. Like the man that insists on practicing his fishing in the street. I wonder if he sees the hard black road as a lake full of fish. I can say that I never cared for fishing, but I might go for his kind. Catching a brand new car does seem like fun!

Moving right along. I have finished my Christmas shopping! Very happy to see that over with. Though I love to shop for someone other than myself. My mother is my favorite person to shop for. They always have her size! It can be very frustrating to shop when you are plus-sized and tall. So shopping for a person who is 5'3 and maybe 95 pounds is very very relaxing. I got her two knew cute tops. She's only 36 so she can pull off the younger look and I even got her one with a high waist so she looks curvier. You're welcome Mom. ;D I got the boyfriend a new outfit and Lara Croft for the Wii. I am now also baking him a cake. Even if he claims he wants to stop eating sweets.

I have been baking up storm the past two weeks. I now plan to spend my Sunday making cookies and Candy to give as gifts for my Boyfriend's sweetheart family I love them and they make me feel not so far from my own family when I am with them. In fact, Sunday was my 21st birthday. They had a party for me. It was one of the best birthdays I have had in some time. I love them like they were my own.

The Burning Moon

Baby, it's no secret
Cause you can't hide your regret
It's falling from your eyes
Hittin the floor- You're soaking wet
The Moon has lit on fire
And soon will crash down
Cause the world don't stop lyin
So the man in the mirror cracks
Your blurry vision meets
Staring back is a pair of pretty brown eyes
In them you see your reflection
But soon they glass over- leaving nothing but the burning moon

New poem

My newest poem:
Saints and Sinners.Collapse )

(no subject)
I LIVE!!! ~cough~
We ended up being on the good side of the storm so we didn't get to much damage.
We lost a few big trees limbs and the roof of our storage building Our house was just fine by the grace of God. We just now got lights a few hours ago after four days. No lights, no water, and our phone was on/off all day. The no lights was the worst part about it all because with no AC and 100 degree temps. it got a wee bit hot. So I am so happy to be back in the AC. I also don't have classes the rest of the week (I've been out all week) and start back Monday.

Lord be with all those without lights.
Lord be with me so I don't kill my family.


(no subject)
Well, Rita is hitting the cost tomorrow. (I am 3 hours from there. About 175 or 200 miles) We are getting ready now. Grams is gathering candles, and will be getting batteries when she goes into to town. Gramps is up town getting gas. Mom has jugs to put water in. All in all we will be fine. But please pray for all the people in Huston and Galveston. I have no idea when I'll be on again.

(no subject)

New Version of my layout is done.  It features original art work done by my mother and me of a young Geisha.  hehe, Does it look all right to you guys?  Any probs let me know, please!

(no subject)
I am coming back long enough to say. I am sick/tired and depressed.
To all those effected by Katrina may God bless you. Stay strong.
But I think I am going down fast.
My friend? Do I miss you? Maybe not. But it hurts all the same.